While all drunk people are not alike, they certainly have some things in common.  What they need after a hard night of drinking tends to be pretty similar across the board.  When you hear the door open and your roommate’s raucous laughter and dirty jokes ringing in the hall, check to see that you have the following nearby:

• A glass of water – for supervised sipping;
• A large bowl (or easy access to a toilet) – in case they are drunk enough to hurl;
• A damp cloth – for wiping down their face after they throw up;
• A bottle of aspirin or other painkiller – to leave by their bed for the next morning’s headache.

Stay calm and see the humor

Drunk people are not all fun and games; they can quickly get on your nerves with their newfound slowness and one-track minds.  The best thing to do is to keep your voice and temper even, and to find the humor in the situation.  Go ahead, snicker at their horrible one-liners.  You can always tease them in the morning.

Walk away if it’s too much

Unless you sent them off to that party or made a back-scratching pact, you have no obligation to care for your roommate in his or her state.  If it gets to be too much, just tell them you’re leaving and peace out.

Try to be sympathetic

Hangovers are no fun, and neither are the headaches that go with them.  Barring any major grudges you carry against them, you should have no reason to blast your music as your roommate stumbles out of bed.  Just follow the Golden Rule – to for them what you want them to do next time you come home drunk.